I am a product of my generational influences. Which means that I have two great loves in life. Harry Potter and Power Rangers. It would have been sailor moon too but she was canceled due to a flagrant misunderstanding about her wardrobe. But otherwise my needs seem pretty simple right? Potter and Power Rangers.
Imagine my surprise when I find a movie that not only has multiple connotations with Harry Potter but also the Kung-Fu Teen Titans themselves. If you combine that together with the fact that most of the movie is done with computer graphics, crayons, streamers, and firecrackers made out of pop rocks while the remaining one percent involves flesh and blood people, then you have, in my mind, a work of cinematic art.
Just to be sure that you’re aware of all the similarities from now on I will scream out, both cyberly and in real life, either ‘Harry Potter’ or ‘Power Rangers’, whenever a likeness is mentioned from the movie.
In 2006 the Japanese remake of the manga Warau Mikaeru was released and, subsequently, injected a coma inducing amount of ‘taste-the-rainbow’ happiness into my eyeballs with a heroine needle (Power Rangers). The Americans, of which I am one, dubbed the film Arch-Angels and I will tell you exactly why watching this film was the most fun I’ve had while watching a movie in a long time.
Fumio Shijo, played by Juri Ueno, has just lost her mother and has been taken in by an elder brother that she never knew existed. Kazuomi Shijo is rich, lonely, and has developed a sister complex in a surprisingly short amount of time. He takes Fumio on dates with him, gets her the best food, the best clothes, and ultimately, into the best school. St. Michaels Academy is a catholic school that is dedicated to the archangel Michael.
According to the history of the school, three nuns were running from a demon and after praying to the archangel for assistance Michael appeared down from heaven and engaged in a mighty battle and blah, blah, blah, the monster died. The school was then erected on the spot in which the story was said to have occurred and ever since, it has been an elite private school for girls.
While Fumio is grateful for the change in status and her brother’s dedication to her, she isn’t exactly fitting in with her new classmates. Because this movie is part comedy her epic failure as a social butterfly has more to do with her own discomfort with her new wealth rather than any animosity the girls in the school may have been showing her (reverse Harry potter).
It’s this discomfort that has Fumio seeking out poor people food like ramen soup not even a week into her new surroundings. It’s while she’s cooking the soup over an open flame in the forest that two of her fellow classmates walk up on her and the entire thing, for whatever reason, explodes. In some weird interpretation of every comic book hero ever the ramen soup explosion transforms them into a catholic school girl triad of pink power ranger kick assedness. One of the girls, Kazine Saiki who is played by Dragonball Evolution’s Megumi Seki, happens to be an idol throughout the school for her ‘handsome’ face and kind heart. The idol title is one that’s shared by the both Fumio and the final Power Ranger Yuzuko Sarashina, who’s played by Airi Taira.
After their powers manifest, which somehow always results in the physical harm of any male adults involved in each of the girls’ lives. But their new superpowers aren’t all they have to worry about. Girls from influential families have been going missing and when the day comes when Fumio, Yuzuko, and Kazine’s happen to know the ones being snatched then it’s long past time to put their powers to good use.
When it comes to electrocuting unsuspecting bystanders no one does it better than Yuzuko. If she can’t get the job done then there’s always the freakishly strong Fumio and Kazine the tornado girl. If there’s something strange in your neighborhood, who ya gonna call? Well obviously not Ghostbusters if you plan on getting the kidnappees away from the kidnappers before they’re turned into sex addicts and prostitutes. A consequence that is never explicitly mentioned, but one that I assume exists either way since the kidnappers repeatedly mention what good prices girls of impressive upbringings can pull in.
I liked pretty much everything this movie had to offer, creepy black dog (HARRY POTTER!) included. The school which is on an island (HARRY POTTER) and which you can only get to by train (HARRY POTTER) is a boarding school for some of the finest families in the country (umm…) which makes it the perfect place for those in the trafficking business to make a good bit of cash.
The fact that they have a ‘guy on the inside’ doesn’t hurt their chances much either. Filled to the brim with amazing graphics, unbelievable stunts, and flying Japanese chicks this movie is one of my favorites.
It has everything you need. A lesbian nun, faint stirrings of incest, invisible animals no one but the main characters can see, and most of all outrageous costumes, hair, and ramen noodles (HARRYPOTTER! HARRYPOTTER! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT’S HOLY HARRY POTTER).
Looking back on all my psychotic ramblings it’s obvious that but for the awesome fight scenes and much more tolerable plotline, and unannoying main character, this movie is a lot more similar to Harry Potter than it is to Power Rangers. All the pointless pink explosions must have confused me.
Oh well.
Arch Angels is a wacky pile CG skittle vomit just waiting to be enjoyed by all of you lovely boys and girls out there today and this particular gal spent about an hour and a half doing just that. Most critics weren’t too terribly impressed but I always think they over analyze movies just a bit too much. A movie should be fun and Arch Angels delivers just that.The cast was great together and other than some weird brother sister moments between Fumio and Kazuomi their dynamic works beautifully as well. And hell, even the incestuous undertones work out towards the end. What’s a little inbreeding between thespians right?
Arch Angels was written by Isumi Kawahara and written and directed by Issei Oda
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